When Teens Tune Out — And How God Brought Us Back Together

When Teens Tune Out — And How God Brought Us Back Together

“Can you please turn the phone off and give us 15 minutes of family time?” I snapped at my sixteen-year-old son during dinner. He replied, “Really bruh?” To which I said, “I’m your mother! Not your bruh, bruh! Put the phone down now, or you lose it for the night!”

He rolled his eyes dramatically, set the phone down like it was a hostage, and ate dinner with the energy of someone stuck in a DMV line.

Every question we asked got a bored “yeah” or “nope,” each one meant to kill the conversation fast. The second he was excused, we heard FaceTime ringing down the hall—his mood suddenly bright, his laugh echoing through the house.

It was clear: he had plenty of interests. Sadly, we just weren’t one of them.

As parents of teenagers, my husband and I had to face a truth that hurt—we were no longer the center of their world. With two boys, fifteen and sixteen, we knew our time as daily guides was getting shorter. The idea of an empty nest triggered a wave of worry.

We started asking ourselves: Do we really know our kids? Do they really know us? Are we preparing them for a world where kindness is rare and viral videos are careers? And most importantly for us as a family rooted in faith—do they truly know God?

It was obvious what was shaping them: social media, memes, online games, and every friend with a gaming headset. Meanwhile, we were being edged out, like VCRs in the age of streaming.

But then we realized—our sons didn’t lack the desire to connect with us or with God. It wasn’t about disinterest; it was about our approach. Trying to connect using outdated methods was like explaining dial-up internet to a kid born with an iPhone in hand.

Teens can sniff out fake motives instantly. If they sense you’re trying to “fix” them, they shut down or plot revenge. They don’t want to be fixed—they want to be known, respected, and given just enough space to come back on their own terms. And truthfully, most of us don’t speak fluent teenager. They crave connection but act allergic to it.

Feeling stuck, my husband and I knew we needed to shift from parenting out of panic to parenting with purpose. We needed something simple but powerful, a way to keep our family rooted in faith, like the principles we teach in our Christian marriage counseling and family support work at McGrane Global Centers.

So we focused on one thing: protecting family dinner.

Every night, we sat down to eat—like it was 1997 again. After dinner, we read a short devotion together using Deep Roots, which includes a brief reading and one discussion question. Short, non-threatening, and just enough to open a door without sending them running.

At first, it was awkward. They cracked jokes, mocked my “serious mom voice,” and my youngest once gave me a sarcastic golf clap after a Bible verse. But we stayed consistent. We kept reading, kept asking questions, kept our cool through the sarcasm and the eye rolls. We knew that even a single word of truth could plant a seed—just like we see in couples who come to us for Christian relationship counseling and marriage help: small steps lead to big breakthroughs.

And slowly, it worked.

Like an ice cube melting under a lamp, our sons began to thaw. They started listening, then talking. They shared about school stress, anxiety, and even asked if we could read a verse again. One night, my son said, “Hey Mom, what you read helped me today.” I wanted to grab a mic and shout, “Victory!” But I played it cool.

Then, one evening, he asked if he could lead the devotion. He even told us to put our phones away, catching us in our own distraction. His dad and I looked at each other—part shocked, part overjoyed. It was a miracle moment we’ll never forget.

Their prayers grew longer. Their questions deeper. They led discussions, reflected on faith, and opened up in ways that floored us. We went from begging for one-word answers to hearing thoughts so wise they’d make any Christian marriage counselor proud.

And here’s what we learned: no amount of sarcasm or teen indifference can smother a young heart hungry for truth. Behind every aloof teen is a soul longing for real connection, love, and purpose.

Today, we feel closer to our kids than ever. What started as an attempt to rescue family dinner turned into the most sacred part of our home life. We’ve had honest talks about life’s pressures, fears, and doubts. We realized they weren’t uninterested in faith—they were overwhelmed by life’s noise. They weren’t just a little hungry for God—they were starving for Him.

The world might label teens as rebellious or lazy, but that’s not how God sees them—and neither should we. These labels can damage young hearts and relationships, just like assumptions can damage a marriage. Whether we’re talking about teenagers or couples in Christian marriage counseling, we must remember: they don’t need fixing—they need to be known, loved, and guided with patience.

My husband and I had to apologize to our kids and to God for underestimating them. They’re deep, wise, and yes—full of sass. But beneath that is a desire to connect and a spirit designed by God for greatness.

So if you’re a parent reading this, please know: it’s not too late.

It’s not too late to reconnect.

It’s not too late to build a strong relationship.

It’s not too late to lead your family deeper into faith—just like couples do in marriage retreats and through Christian marriage counseling online or in person.

Start today. Reclaim your dinner table. Open your heart. Ask your kids real questions. Turn off the phones. Create moments where God can work.

And if you ever feel stuck—whether it’s with parenting, your marriage, or both—remember, you’re not alone. At McGrane Global Centers, we help families and couples find hope, rebuild trust, and rediscover joy through Christian marriage counseling, therapy for couples techniques, and marriage retreats designed to refresh your home life.

Learn more about how we can help you build a healthy marriage and a strong family at www.mcgrane.com/marriage-counseling or call us at 859-384-6333. Let’s make your home the most meaningful place on earth—one meal, one prayer, one honest conversation at a time.