Whole man behavior

In a mature relationship, do you have what it takes to be a “whole man?” A “whole man” is defined by your behaviors.  Ask yourself:

• Of the two of you, who is the most nostalgic and romantic one?
• Who is the memorabilia person?
• Who is the one who would reflect on the joys and the treasures of your relationship?

When Linda and I decided to have a relationship, I remember looking in her eyes and seeing that excitement and recalling my excitement about what the possibilities would be with each other.  I asked her one day if she remembered that.  She looked at me and then, all of a sudden, a joyful smile crossed her face and with it, brought warm feelings back to me as well.  In that moment we had a  the joyful moment right then and there.

That is just one way of affirming a person.  Recalling treasured memories and building upon them each day.   How would this type of behavior impact your own relationship?  A simple conversation easily stimulates intimacy in conversation.

I was discussing relationships during a recent radio show I was asked, “What do you do when the husband really doesn’t talk as much and the wife wants to talk all the time?”  I said, “well men have to learn a whole man behavior.”  My interviewer looked curious and asked me “what’s whole man behavior?” I smiled and explained that “It’s the behavior of recognizing your wants while making her feel so special that she knows that she is the one.  And that she has no doubt about your commitment to her and she feels that on an emotional level, she hears it in your words, she see it in your behavior and that creates such a security in her that it causes her to then give you back what you need.  Through this verbal and non-verbal communication, couples begin to speak the love language of each other.  When a husband models this behavior first, his wife will indeed notice it and feel appreciated and respected.  This leads to intimacy on the emotional and physical level.  Reflecting with your loved one creates emotions that are nurture the kind of relationships and feelings that you want.  It makes you feel more sensitive to your spouse and you’ll notice that talking with each other can release stress and bring you closer.

Whole man behavior is asking questions.  Whole man behavior is finding out what is inside her.  Let me explain thorough this story:

A man’s wife of 26 years found out that she breast cancer.  It was to a point that there is a high probability that she would die.  They had their ups and downs in their relationship, however, they were very committed to each other.  Their children were grown.  The man was a very busy executive and realized that the one person who he had loved the most, took for granted, and now may not be with him – may be gone.  He asked himself a question.  What could I do with whatever time we have left to make the most of our relationship?  Because he really did love her.
 
And the question he had to ask is, “Are you still in love”?  If you are, then what would it be like to begin re-dating each other?  And, what do you do when you’re dating – you get acquainted with each other, you find out each others interests and hobbies, thinking and feelings and fascinations, desires.  Well, in this process what do you think he found out?  He found out that after all those years, there were still a lot of things he did not know about his wife.  So, he started asking her questions like, “tell me what makes you choose to go to the grocery store that you do, how do you pick what you get there, how do you feel about the way in which our kids are growing up?  Things that they never talked about or hadn’t talked about for a long time.  The interesting thing is that he found out that he was falling deeper in love with her because he wasn’t taking her for granted, he wasn’t having to explain what she did or didn’t do and now their love is even deeper.

Part 2 will continue next week.

McGrane Global Centers