Archive for conversation
How Are You At Conversing With Others?
Posted by: | CommentsWhat is the most important topic of conversation for you today? Is it your career, relationships, health, or children? Are you talking about the quality of education in your community? Have you been discussing world conditions? Do you have discussions on books, TV programs, movies, sports, travel, career, or success? Do you have a discussion club where you share ideas important to you? Are you comfortable conversing when you attend a dinner or party? What level of competence do you have as a conversationalist?
This week, observe your own conversations and those of other people around you. The Art of Conversation is a special skill that needs a lifetime of development. In the first two minutes, when you
meet someone, you basically have three topics to choose from: the situation or event, the other person, or yourself. And there are only three ways to begin a conversation: ask a question, give your opinion, or state a fact. The major outcome in the beginning is just to interest or involve the other person. I believe the best way to start a conversation is by asking a question because it focuses the energy on the other person.
It is important to learn the Art of Conversation and how to ask questions. One of the greatest fears of many people is the fear of being in a group where they know no one. Many people are shy or afraid of being rejected. They do not know how to begin a conversation. However, with practice and skill, people can learn to be comfortable in any situation.
Dr. Phillip Zimbardo, author of Shyness: What Is It, What To Do About It, says 85 million people wake up every day with some degree of shyness. Millions of people buy animals and plants because it is easier to talk to animals and plants rather than talk to people. People talk back . Animals and plants “listen”.
Decide now to upgrade your conversation skills. Learn to ask questions, listen externally, give eye contact, and give each person your undivided attention. Learn something about everything, and everything you can about something. This will give you a knowledge base for asking questions. You can go to everyone’s “school” by asking them questions about their skills and interest. As you develop the Art of Conversation and release any of your fears and shyness, you will also be letting people know about you.
Take an interest in others, ask questions and then, watch what happens!
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“I now continually refine my conversation skills.” |
How Do You Use Your Voice?
Posted by: | CommentsHave you ever heard of the ‘And then some’ principle? Are there people where you work who say, “Don’t do too much. Just do what you get paid for and no more”?
When I was in college, I worked part time: on the railroad, in a warehouse, in a brewery, and also for a fruit and produce company. Since all the employees knew I was a short term worker, I was frequently told not to work too hard because they would still be there after I left. They were concerned that they may be expected to work harder. Yet most of the workers wanted and needed more money to satisfy their need for a comfortable lifestyle. Many workers also wanted promotions as well.
The ‘And then some’ principle says that you do what you are paid to do ‘and then some.’
The next time you call your favorite store, notice the tone of voice of the person who answers the phone. Observe how long it takes you to get an answer or solution to your question or concern. Hear the words the person uses to communicate with you. Listen for courtesy, concern, and enthusiasm! That’s the ‘And then some’ principle.
Focus on your telephone skills. If someone were evaluating your telephone competence, would they recommend you for a raise or a promotion? Your voice has the power to turn people on or turn them off. Basically you have three voices. You can use a soft voice, your normal voice, or a command voice. Each is appropriate based on the circumstances.
When you listen to a speaker, watch television, or go to a movie, observe the power of a voice. How does it create an impact on you? Do you want to listen longer or do you want to turn them off?
Recall the voices from your past. Whose do you remember? What voices helped to make you feel comfortable? How come? Were there voices that felt uncomfortable? Do you still have a dislike of certain voice tones? Do these voices remind you of anyone or anything? How does this affect your relationships? Have you ever heard the ‘And then some’ principle in a voice? It may have been someone using your name or giving you an affirmation. It could be the way someone asks you a question. Did they sound interested in what you are saying? Did they have an attitude of service?
Decide now to develop your voice to create a climate of acceptance. Refuse to yell or scream at anyone. Use your voice appropriately based on the situation. Soften your voice whenever anyone is upset or angry. Develop the many ranges of your normal voice so people identify the ‘And Then some’ principle.
For the next week invest in improving your voice and then watch what happens!
Soften your voice and spread the word about McGrane Global Centers.
Do You Ask Questions?
Posted by: | CommentsWhen people ask you questions, are you comfortable or uncomfortable? What kind of questions help you to feel at ease? Are they safe questions like: “What is your name?” ” Where do you live?” “Where do you work”? Are you relaxed when you answer those questions?
What about questions from doctors, lawyers, bankers, teachers, dentists, friends, spouses, and children? Have you experienced times, as a child, when you asked questions and were told, “You ask too many questions”?
Is it possible you still hear those voices and this causes you to be afraid to ask questions? Are you unlikely to ask for directions? Have you ever needed to ask someone to repeat information, yet chose not to ask? Are you ever concerned about asking for your missing piece (that which is absent from your life, be it a need, want, or value)?
Were you ever put down for asking a question in school? Have you ever been uncomfortable asking a question at work? Did you ever feel rejected for asking questions? Has anyone ever criticized you for asking questions? What does it feel like when these things happen? I once talked to a woman who said, “I tremble when I need to ask questions.” She was afraid of rejection and ridicule.
When you go for a job interview, what is the number one skill of the interviewer? Is it “asking questions”? Is his outcome to learn as much about you as possible to determine if you are the best choice for the organization? What if you are asked surprise questions like, “What do you like least about yourself?” or “What do you like best about yourself?” Are you prepared to be relaxed, calm, and in charge when being interviewed?
When you socialize with people, do you ask questions to improve your conversation skills? Would you like to earn more money? Are you interested in improving your relationships? Is it important that you upgrade your communication competence?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then may I suggest you learn the Art of Asking Questions and then, watch what happens!
At McGrane Global Centers, there are no dumb or too many questions. Just Ask!
