Creating Balance in an Unbalanced World

What do we mean by balance? Many times, we think that to achieve balance we must reach a state that insures, once and for all, that we have everything in our lives managed,  family, work, friends, social life, etc.

This may be good, but probably impossible to maintain due to constant changes that occur. Think of standing an egg on end or watching a spinning gyro. These examples illustrate two kinds of balance: static and dynamic.

Static balance is delicate and motionless; dynamic balance involves movement and change. We need both, but of the two dynamic balance is the more important. It is the eye of the hurricane–the still small voice that is heard above the lion’s roar.

 
Dynamic balance is silence amid chaos. Static balance occurs when the conditions are right; dynamic balance occurs in spite of conditions. Dynamic balance is that state of internal calm and clarity that overrides the externals of life. The Question is: how does one achieve this kind of balance? Here are ten ways to begin.

1. Eliminate distractions. 

Divest yourself of negative and draining influences, people and situations. Take steps to eliminate clutter, noise, distractions and people who drain your energy. It’s awfully hard to remain in balance if someone or something is constantly tugging at you. You may want to list the negative draining influences, people, and situations on a sheet of paper and begin to eliminate them, one at a time, until your life is free from these distractions. You will be amazed at how much energy this will unleash (both emotional and physical).
 
2. Establish boundaries and standards.

Boundaries ensure that others do not intrude upon your space, time, energy, etc. Boundaries are the imaginary, but well understood lines that tell others how far they can go or how close they can come.
 
For example, one of your boundaries might be that you do not allow others to make demands upon you. They can suggest, request, advise, and recommend, but they can’t demand. Standards, on the other hand, are rules to which you hold yourself accountable.
 
You might, for example, have a personal standard of always doing outstanding work, not criticizing others, or listening more than you talk. Having standards enables you to live life in a more relaxed way; you don’t have to re decide in every instance, you have only to follow the standard you have set for yourself.  Fit in terms of nutrition, exercise, and lifestyle.
 
Fitness is a requirement for balance, because the fully fit person wastes less time and energy getting things done and accomplishes them more easily. Fitness involves viewing body and mind as inter-developmental systems in which every part performs an essential role.

3.  Put self, family, work, and leisure in proper perspective.

The order here is not accidental. If you don’t put your “self” first, you cannot give your best to others. if family is more of a burden than a joy, you are missing both  valuable learning and connection. And if work is all consuming, that’s just what it will do to you: it will consume you.
 
4. Be fully present.

To be fully present (mindful) is to enjoy a relaxed attentiveness that takes in everything but is free of judgment. it is to be able to focus on a single person, idea or topic to the extent that all else becomes imperceptible background noise. And finally, to be fully present is to have no preoccupations with past or future.

When you are mindful, you are aware of what you are sensing (perception and action), feeling (emotions and feelings), thinking (thoughts and imagination), wanting and intending (values, intentions, and desires) to do at any moment.
 
Being fully present takes practice and a willingness to purposefully exclude all that is not directly relevant to the subject at hand, and to remain in the now, even when drifting off might be more appealing.

5. Act deliberately.
 
To act deliberately is to act carefully, without haste and in full awareness of the consequences of your actions. As stated earlier, this is the next step after being mindful. You may ask yourself, ‘what action am I willing to take in this situation?’ Or, ‘what am I willing to stop doing?’ Bringing mindfulness into conscious action is the key to balance. When you communicate to others what you are and are not willing to do, you become responsible for your experience, rather than being enslaved to it.
 
6. Listen and observe while withholding judgment.

If you can be fully present and act deliberately in all that you do, this step is accomplished automatically. All too often, judgment is an imposition upon experience that is designed (sometimes subconsciously) to shield, protect, and promote us. When we begin to look at every situation as a learning experience rather than as a need to protect or promote, we can change our perception and therefore, change our experiences significantly. Try it for one day.
 
7. Meditate.

To meditate is to settle into peaceful quiet balance. There are many ways to meditate: sitting and focusing on the breath; focusing on a word or mantra, and movement or walking are just three examples. The point is that regular disciplined meditation affords mind and body a “safe place” from the tugs and pulls of daily life. Meditation is the deep stillness that is revealed when all distractions are swept away.

8. Become aligned.

To become aligned is to discover your place and course, not intellectually, but in the form of a quiet confidence that calms and assures. It is to identify your values and how you make sense of the world and then live according to them.

9. Live with Integrity.
 
Shakespeare said it so well: “To thine own self be true, and thou cans’t not be false to any man (or woman).” To live in integrity is to have no regrets for your actions, to not need to apologize to others, to be real to yourself, to be consistent, and to live what you believe.

Bill McGrane is President of the McGrane Global Centers creators of the Making it Happen and Move Into Your Greatness. The Centers offers, keynotes, seminars, consulting and products that improve individual and organizational performance. You can create highly responsible teams and produce a culture of responsibility.
 Call 859-384-6333 or mcgrane@mcgrane.com or view our web site at www.mcgrane.com