Archive for parenting
Are You Preparing Teens For Life?
Posted by: | CommentsDo you have trouble understanding teenagers? Do you remember your teenage years? Seven powerful years make up the teen experience.
Teenagers want to be accepted and included. They want to be part of the group. Peer pressure is the big challenge to survival in the teen years. What are some of the issues? A few of the pressures include: cars, sports success, college acceptance, acquiring all the best and most current clothes, and being invited to the “in” parties. What about other issues like: alcohol, drugs, exercise, nutrition, getting along with parents, summer jobs, boredom in school, school dropouts, both parents working, and a hunger for friendship?
So how do we communicate with teenagers for seven years to prepare them for life? How do we speak their language? Teenagers have their own language. We need to learn everyone’s language if we want to communicate at the highest level. However, teen language changes from day to day. How do we keep current? Advertisers need to appeal to teenagers, so research discovers the new language, to guarantee billions of dollars of product sales.
Teenagers learn the language so they can survive those seven trying years. I believe we need to teach Self-Esteem language to teens. Would you like to learn a universal Self-Esteem language to help your communication skills? Are you interested in releasing words that can cut to the core? Is it important for you to model behavior that can serve you and your teenagers? Are you willing to practice even if your teenager chooses not to participate?
In our personal development seminars we show people how to begin by eliminating three words. These words can be harmful to you and others’ Self-Esteem because they set people up to compare. Comparison destroys Self-Esteem. The three words you want to begin releasing from your vocabulary are “Should”, Ought”, and “Must”. Have you or your teenager ever been told, “You should do this. You ought to do that. You must do it this way.”? The replacement for these word are: “Need”, “Want” and “Consider”.
Test these words for the next 30 days and then, watch what happens!
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“I now learn Self-Esteem language to prepare teenagers for life.” |
Do You Recall Special Moments With Your Mother?
Posted by: | CommentsWhat is the first feeling you experience when you hear the word Mother? Are they sad feelings or happy feelings? Recall the happiest moments with your mother and write them down. Are they big events or simple moments that only you and she know? Did she teach you people skills?
A newspaper once invited 75 fourth and fifth grade children to choose words they most like to hear from their mothers.
Here are five top choices repeated over and over by almost all of the children:
1. I love you.
2. Yes.
3. Time to eat.
4. You can go.
5. You can stay up late.
Here are some other favorites.
1. I’ll help you.
2. You are special.
3. Let’s go to the movie.
4. You don’t have to clean your room.
5. Let’s go for a walk.
6. I appreciate you helping me clean the kitchen.
7. Your friend can spend the night.
8. You can go out and play.
9. I’m happy you came to our house to live.
10. I have a sur prise for you.
11. Thank you.
12. I know you can do it.
What did the fourth and fifth grade children list as the things they did not like their mothers to say?
1. How many times do I have to tell you…?
2. I am disappointed in you.
3. Ask your father.
4. You will never amount to anything.
5. I’m ashamed of you.
6. Don’t argue with me.
7. Why don’t you be like your brother or sister?
I believe your mother makes a profound impact on your life. She is your first people skills training specialist. If your mother was loved, she taught you how to love. If your mother was hugged, she taught you to hug.
This week, recall the happy moments with your mother. If your mother is alive, write her a love letter, send her a card, buy her a rose and say “a rose says it all”. Tell her you love her and give her a hug.
If your mother is not with you, close your eyes, recall the happiest moment you ever experienced, relish that moment, and experience those special feelings and then, watch what happens!
Do You Have Parent Burnout?
Posted by: | CommentsHave you heard of the book, Parent Burnout? I heard the author describe parent burnout. Many parents are worn out; they are tired of raising children; they want time for themselves; and they would like help. This behavior is the result of all of the pressures parents feel as they live their lives. They may need their own life coaching.
Today, many women work at their careers, then they come home to cook, take care of the house, and find little time for themselves. Many children are abused because of these pressures and could be damaged for a lifetime. Our greatest asset is our children! Our future and the future of our country lies in their hands. How we serve them now will determine how we will be served later.
There was a man who is a recovering alcoholic. He had three daughters. When he was drinking , he verbally abused his children. He called them names and yelled at them. When a child is called all kinds of labels like “stupid” or yelled at, the impact is devastating.
As I meet people during our Self-Esteem programs, I always hear about parents who affected their children in a non-affirming way. One person told me, “When I was 23 years old, my father said to me, “I am disappointed in you.” From that moment, the young man wanted nothing to do with his father. Another woman was told by her father, “You aren’t worth the time it took to make you.” These words cut deeper then a knife.
How can we create a home environment where children can thrive? How can we build the Self-Esteem of parents and children so that there is harmony and cooperation at home? What can parents do to pamper themselves to prevent parent burnout?
Decide that children are a gift. Value children even when their behavior is unacceptable. Give children instant consequences for unacceptable behavior – free of guilt, blame, and punishment. Example: If a child marks up a wall with crayons say, “Sammy that is unacceptable behavior. Crayons are for paper or your coloring book. The consequence for marking on the wall is you need to clean the crayon off the wall.” Say this with your normal voice, no anger, or disappointment. Then, no matter the child’s age, have the child scrub the crayon off the wall.
Prepare children for life by giving them direction being their life coach. Create calmness in the home. Most of all give yourself, as a parent, a minimum of 30 minutes of quiet time each day. Find a mentor to talk with daily. Share these ideas with other parents. With intact Self-Esteem you take care of your needs and then there is no parent burnout.
Take action now and then, watch what happens!
“I now take 30 minutes of quiet time daily to prepare myself for my total fulfillment.”
