People with intact Self-Esteem accept responsibility for everything they think, say, do, and feel.  People who have intact Self-Esteem like themselves regardless of the rejection, indifference, or criticism they receive from others.  People with intact Self-Esteem ask questions to show their interest in others.  People with intact Self-Esteem listen to others and give them their undivided attention.  People with intact Self-Esteem have great energy.  People with intact Self-Esteem are team players.  They help others succeed.  People with intact Self-Esteem accept others totally and unconditionally.  People with intact Self-Esteem are committed to a cause bigger than life.  People with intact Self-Esteem share their wisdom and skills with others.  People with intact Self-Esteem are at peace with themselves.  People with intact Self-Esteem can see the humorous side of life.  People with intact Self-Esteem help others feel important.

Do you meet many people who have intact Self-Esteem?  One way you can tell about a person’s Self-Esteem is the way they focus on people.  They create an atmosphere that is safe, secure, and comfortable. 

What about the management where you work?  Do they have intact Self-Esteem?  You can tell by how easy it is to talk with them.  Do they create an atmosphere of acceptance?  Can you speak freely about your pay, working conditions, learning opportunities, skills, benefits, etc.?  Are you encouraged to be congruent (your words, feelings, and behavior are in agreement) without fearing the loss of your job or career advancement?  Just because a person is financially successful or holds a respected position does not necessarily mean that they have intact Self-Esteem.  Their behavior will always let you know if a person’s Self-Esteem is intact.

Is your present pathway moving you toward your ultimate ideal career?  Would you say your work/career makes a difference?  Are you fulfilled with what you are doing?  How do you feel about having your child follow in your footsteps? Have you ever taken the time to write your own work/career plan?  Are you on purpose

Masks

Deciding which mask I should put on everyday was a struggle.  A desperate need to show my true beauty to others was my highest priority.  Like most people, I wanted to look good.  But choosing which display wasn’t the only thing I was worried about; it was the people’s reactions and opinions that left me with the final impression of my decision.  Sorting through the massive clutter was stressful enough, but not enough for me.  I had to choose the perfect disguise in order to fulfill my desperate needs.  Then suddenly, my collection got too expansive and overwhelming.  Something needed to change.  Was it that I needed more colorful masks? Or maybe that I just needed to start my collection over? My voyage to find the perfect mask came to an end during the summer of 2010 when I attended the McGrane Global Centers, Move Into Your Greatness program.  I found exactly what I was searching for my whole life.  But what I found was no ordinary façade.  It was the face behind the mask that I began to boast.

             My entire life I have been using every ounce of my energy to make people happy— happy with me, happy with themselves, and happy with others.  I never thought of how draining this really was.  In order to fill them up, I left myself completely empty.  In order to satisfy everybody’s needs, I put a “mask” on to fit the profiles of what they wanted me to be.

             After years of hidden and isolated times, I came out of the program with no mask on my face.  Sensitive to the warm sun, my pale face was now exposed to the world.  Horrified of possible blemishes, yet the willingness to be comfortable being uncomfortable, I stood and basked in the sunlight for all to see.  Of course fear overwhelmed my body, but there was something about finally being exposed that just felt so right.  It felt so refreshing.  Could this really be happening?  Can I really go out in public without a mask on? 

             But the extraordinary thing I began to realize was, no mask can ever be your true identity.  Emotionless, apprehensive, and stone-like I was.  Did people really want me to be this way?  My immediate answer was yes, but after guidance came and showed me how beautiful my face was, I will never turn back.

             So the moral of this story is being courageous enough to let go of all of the facades and show people who you really are instead constantly attempting to adapt to each specific mold.  Energy, respect, originality, and confidence disappear until the mask is finally lifted.  Be yourself, love yourself, and honor yourself until the day you die.  Live by originality, and through originality, success will prevail.

 Christopher King  – See his video sharing the story

McGrane Global Centers

I believe that strikes are caused by employees and managements’ lack of skills and/or their unintact Self-Esteem to negotiate and compromise.  It seems that we, as a society, have learned very little from history.  After every war, there is negotiating and compromising.

A strike is an indication that both management and employees need to communicate their needs, wants, and concerns, on an ongoing basis.  They need to be continually establishing a mutually beneficial relationship.

All events in our lives go through a process called gradualism.  A child grows into an adult by the body, mind and spirit changing through the years.  It is a process and it varies for each individual.

Business and organizations develop in similar fashion.  There is birth, infancy, childhood, the teen years, young adulthood, adulthood, maturity and the vintage years.  It does not happen overnight.  It is a process.  Along the way there is always a moment when employees and management become aware of their needs, wants, and values.  If there is a conflict concerning how these are to be met and fulfilled, then resolution needs to take place.  When people are deprived of a need at the point of its highest intensity they will have it met at some other time, in some other way.  This could include: sabotage, slowdowns, sickness, quitting or strikes.

With intact Self-Esteem, there is never a desire to strike because people will communicate at a level where both parties talk about their needs, wants, and values.  They will initiate negotiating and compromising appropriately to establish mutually beneficial results.  Employees and management will listen to everyone’s point of view and be able to create a viewing point that is mutually beneficial.

What is the real fear that causes a strike?  I believe it is the fear of losing control.  Employees want to maintain or achieve a dignified lifestyle.  Management wants to stay in business and make a profit.  Either or both may perceive that their wants will be infringed upon or ignored.

Strikes would not occur if both groups had intact Self-Eteem and were willing to negotiate and compromise.  In the end, both parties will do it anyway.  Does it make sense to negotiate and compromise up front?  I believe so.  Before there is even any sign of discomfort or miscommunication, continuing dialogue is necessary.

Do you ever go on “strike” with your friends, your family, your company, your own business or your associates?  All strikes could end when: people are sensitive to the needs, wants and values of each other; they invest time in cultivating harmonious relationships; they initiate describing their uncomfortable feelings with each other; they upgrade their people knowledge and skills; and they keep their Self-Esteem intact.

So the next time you hear about a strike, remember the words: sensitivity, time, relationships, initiate, knowledge,  Self-Esteem and activate them and  then, watch what happens! 

Affirm:

“I decide to avoid all strikes by negotiating and compromising now.”

When I was in college, I worked part-time at a leather bag manufacturing company.  Since all the employees knew I was a short term worker, I was frequently told not to work too hard.  They knew they would still be there after I left and did not want a new standard set.

Would you agree many workers need and want more money to satisfy a comfortable lifestyle?  Do you know people who want a promotion?  What can be done to help people acquire the money and promotions they say they want?

The “and then some principle” says that you do what you are paid to do “and then some”.

The next time you call your favorite store, notice the tone of voice of the person who answers the phone.  Observe how long it takes you to get a solution to your challenge.

Hear the words the person uses to communicate with you.  Listen for courtesy, concern, and enthusiasm – that’s the “and then some principle”.  Then focus on your telephone skills.  If someone were evaluating your telephone competence, would they recommend that you be given a raise or a promotion?

Your voice has the power to turn people on or off.   Would your voice cause others to want what you have to offer?  There are three basic voice tones you can choose when conversing.   You can use a soft voice, your normal voice, or a command voice.  Each is acceptable.  The skill is knowing what voice is appropriate for  the situation.  For example; if a person was about to run in front of a car, you would use your command voice to save their life.

When you listen to a speaker, watch television, or go to a movie, notice the power the voice has in creating an  impact on you. Listen to hear the “and then some principle”.

Recall the voices from your past.  Whose voices do you remember?  How did you feel when you listened to them: comfortable or uncomfortable?

Decide now to develop your voice to create a climate of acceptance.  Refuse to yell or scream at anyone.  Soften your voice whenever another person is upset or angry.

For the next week invest in improving your voice and the, watch what happens!

“I now believe in the “and then some  principle” by doing more!”

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Are you an excellent achiever?  Did you ever watch the Olympic achievers?  Only one person wins the Gold Medal; only one person wins the Silver Medal; and only one person wins the Bronze Medal for each event.

How do you feel about your own level of achievement at this time of your life?  Just what is achievement?

To achieve means to overcome obstacles and accomplish difficult things.  The achieving person is one who exhibits a high degree of striving, excellence, and success.

People who are excellent achievers tend to: seek out and enjoy challenges, work hard in a smart way, make acceptable grades, and advance their education or knowledge in their areas of interest.

The more intact your Self-Esteem, the more you achieve, because you no longer compete with other people.   Since you only compete with yourself, you are free of comparison and you have the energy to be more curious about everything in your life.  As a result, you are more teachable, you study more, you learn more skills, you maximize your potential and you are outcome oriented.

In contrast with people who are driven to achieve, psychologists have found that many other people are motivated by fear of failure.  They compare themselves to others.  They settle for less and feel like victims.  Very often these people live a life of dependence, to one degree or another, rather than take charge of their lives.

As you watch the Olympic achievers, does their commitment to and show of excellence compel you to upgrade your competence?

How much more competent will you be five, ten, fifteen years from now?  What excellence will you  acquire in the seven areas of life: social, mental, physical, financial, spiritual, career, and family?

John Gardner, in his book Excellence, said: “Our society cannot achieve greatness unless individuals, at various levels of ability, accept the need for high standards of performance and strive to achieve those standards within the limits possible for them.”

Decide now to upgrade your Self-Esteem and you will become an excellent achiever and then, watch what happens!

Affirm in your life, “I now strive to achieve excellence daily.”

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McGrane Global Centers