Ask Questions For Better Communication
ByIs your communication getting you all the results you want? Do you really want to find ways to enhance your persuasive skills? If you could improve one aspect of your communications skills, what would it be? Would asking questions make a difference?
The person with skill has the power and the person with the power has the skill. The power here is words. Words are powerful—they create feelings. How you use them—how you language your words is based on your skill. The meaning of your communication is the outcome you receive. When you language your words as questions (using a soft voice, soft eyes and soft words) you allow people to retain their Personal Power.
There is an art to asking questions. Just watch what happens…. to your effectiveness when you learn to design effective questions. However, be aware that your self-esteem determines the kind of questions you do or do not ask.
Self-esteem is the self-respect your feel for yourself. It is a feeling. Self-esteem has nothing to do with how much money you have or make, your reputation, the clothes you wear, or where you live. It does not matter how you have focused your life, whether you have riches or have nothing. Self-esteem is always fluctuating, is intangible and is recognized in your behavior. Self-esteem has to do with who you are and the respect you feel for you.
That is why it is important to understand the dynamics of self-esteem when using “The Art of Asking Questions.” When your self-esteem is intact, you will be integrative with these skills. Much depends on whether you have a self-image or self-esteem in determining your desired outcome. With self-image, you will be very self-centered and only go for what you want, with no regard for others. On the other hand, self-esteem has longer, more positive effects on you and the people around you. My purpose is to show you how to be integrative. This can be accomplished by using the self-esteem principles in conjunction with The Art of Asking Questions for elegant, exquisite and irresistible outcomes for everyone.
Have you noticed how statements can kill communication? Conversely, questions create conversation. The next time you are around a group of people, notice how often people shut down ideas or “hijack” a conversation because they are more interested in telling versus asking.
Keep in mind that you have one free question. After the first question people have an idea where the conversation is headed. Develop scripted questions that allow you to be ready to carry on a conversation with anyone. Here are a few examples:
1. Tell me about yourself.
2. What is the single most important idea that has helped you be successful?
3. If you had to do it over again, what would you do differently?
4. When do you feel most alive?
5. What do you like best about what you do?
6. What issue is at the forefront of your mind?
Keep your questions to seven words or less. The fewer words, the easier it makes it for the person to answer. From your original question, you can listen externally to develop your next question. You are now on your way to a wonderful conversation.
3 Steps to Better Questions
1. Be present to the moment. Practice eliminating any other thoughts or feelings you have so you can openly receive what the person is saying.
2. Really listen to the person without judging what they are saying. This will allow you to hear what is important and they will feel heard.
3. Design your question based upon the words they use. Research shows people respond better when you include key words they say in your next question.
Create Elegant, Exquisite and Irresistible Outcomes (EEIO) with all your questions and watch what happens.
To learn more about Bill McGrane and his life transforming seminars Making It Happen and Move Into Your greatness, motivational speeches, coaching and products, to help you believe in yourself, live with balance and bring others into their greatness please visit our web site at www.mcgrane.com or contact us at 859-384-6333 or email us at mcgrane@mcgrane.com
